past notes

Back in Laos I had a particularly “entertaining” bus ride one day heading south to Pakse. The baby on the lap of the woman seated next to me just started peeing! It peed right onto his mother’s lap. And she barely reacted. She kind of shrugged and just started to change the kids pants for another pair with equally as many holes in it. She had 3 other kids with her. It was incredible to watch, though I really wanted to move away from the baby whose legs were glistening with urine while trying to reach out to me in a playful way. Yeah right, maybe you’d be cute if you weren’t covered in piss, I thought as I squeezed myself against the window and tried to ignore the faint smell filling the air. As much as I wanted her to move to a different seat, I couldn’t help admire this woman. She was traveling with 4 children, one of which just peed on her, and she continued to smile and look radiant. She attempted to mop up her wet sarong a bit. What are you supposed to do when you have small children and have to take a long bus ride? No one uses diapers here. And then I was suddenly in awe of all the young children I had seen riding for hours and hours on busses. Not only did they not whine about being bored, they never had to go to the bathroom until we stopped! All the children here must have incredible self-control and patience (or they are very dehydrated…).

On the same bus there were also two elaborate transvestites. I have the worst tendency of staring openly at the many transvestites I’ve encountered in SE Asia. But it’s not intended to be rude! I’m just so fascinated and curious. I examine the immaculate hair, I’m intimidated by their perfect nails, and I admire the confidence in their eyes. What fascinates me the most though, is how naturally they interact with the public. In the USA I have only seen transvestites in cities, at night. Never have I seen them boarding public buses in the states during the day, let alone in small towns and flirting openly with the bus conductor! In fact, my impression here is that the men seem to flirt more freely with transvestites then with the women here. Perhaps it’s some type of release, since relations between men and women are so much more formal. Men jokingly flirt, sometimes even physically with the beautiful ladies showing off their legs in high-heels, the men making a total public spectacle of themselves. And no one seems nervous or uncomfortable, the laughs of onlookers is natural and relaxed. What is it about the culture here that allows these people to be who they want to be? I wouldn’t say they encounter less judgment and discrimination in these countries, but transvestites seem more comfortable to be themselves in broad daylight here than in America.