Women Only.

May 17, 2008

I went on 2 interviews today. These women amaze, confuse, sadden, and frustrate me.
…

I've had to change my fellow students' plans by stealing my translator, Radha, back from them. I must have a female translator, and she’s the only one; they’ll have to find someone else. In my case it's women only. I'm asking sensitive questions about personal health, and I want them to share as much as possible. I must try to remove any obstacles, such as having men present.

As I’m walking along the path to reach the community of Meora, with Radha and CHIRAG employee Naomi, I’m so excited. I’m thinking about all the health issues I’ve been researching that women commonly deal with here. I’m wondering what my exchanges will be like. What will I learn from them? How much will they be willing to share? Will they feel comfortable with me? I’m approaching with an unidentifiable, strong, feminist pride, I’m not exactly sure where it is originating.

My goal is to learn about the healthcare seeking behavior of women in the area. I’m examining any possible relations of their behavior to age and literacy/education levels, as well as find out the differences in when they seek healthcare compared to their husbands. The ladies I am researching are all members of Women Self Help Groups (SHGs) that have been established by CHIRAG; the groups empower women to meet together and make decisions.

It’s us three women, going to meet with women. Women listening to women, women interested in women, women caring for women. We are empowering each other and ourselves.
This is awesome… Women Unite!

We approach the home of Parvati. She’s 65, has 6 children, and has completed 5 years of school. As we enter the patio of her home we find her sitting on the ground massaging a very swollen knee. It looks painful and she tells us it hurts to walk. She applies copious amounts of Omni-Gel, “Fast working pain relief cream!”

She’s happy to speak with us and invites us onto a rug outside, in the shade. I’m so excited and can’t stop smiling while trying to appear amiable and respectful.

I’m grateful to have Naomi with us on this first day. Radha is wonderful, but she’s only 20 and with limited English skills it’s nearly impossible for her to convey names of illnesses and symptoms to me. Naomi has worked with women’s health for 17 years, her English is also limited but she translates gallbladder stones, high blood pressure, ultrasound, arthritis, and more effortlessly. An entire medical history quickly unfolds.

3 months ago Parvati was diagnosed with gallbladder stones. After going to several local clinics she headed to the Haldwani hospital. They ran tests and told her she needed an operation. However, her blood pressure was high so she decided to postpone the operation and return home with painkillers.

I ask her if she has had any RTIs (Reproductive Tract Infections, they are extremely common amongst women here). She says yes, as well having had a PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). She went to a local ayurvedic doctor for the PID originally and was given a tonic to take. She didn’t like the taste of it so she only took half. She has seen a gynecologist at a health camp and was given 3 days of “antibiotics,” which she took, but it didn’t make the PID go away. She now takes pain medicine and has her daughter-in-law massages her lower back with ointment. If the pain is really bad she can go to a clinic for an injection. She has accepted the persistent PID pains, though she does not acknowledge she still has PID, simply that it still hurts; she does not seek treatment for it anymore, only relief.

She has joint pains, which she treats with oil, salt, and she gets painkillers for.

She is living with constant pain from the gallbladder stones; her abdomen is large and bloated. She’s not sure when she will go for the operation. Naomi explains the longer she waits the worse it will be. For now she uses painkillers to cope, she doesn’t like the idea of staying in the hospital for so many days to wait for her blood pressure to drop. The way she speaks of going to refill her prescriptions and her general practices, I can only imagine her body is addicted to the painkillers.

We are joined by Roshni. Roshni is 33 years old, has also completed 5 years of education, and has 3 children. When Roshni was 18 she had her first child and developed an RTI (they are even more common after childbirth). She went to an ayurvedic doctor for treatment, but it persisted. She saw several doctors, but male doctors don’t examine, they only prescribe medication. Finally, a year later a female doctor properly examined her for the first time, at a women’s health camp. She was again diagnosed with having an RTI and given a set of antibiotics. They didn’t work.

Today, 15 years later, Roshni still suffers from the original RTI. I can’t imagine what pain, infection, and disease this prolonged illness has caused by now, and will cause in the future. I don’t understand why none of the medications have worked for her. Naomi is giving her advice in Hindi, I ask her to explain what she is saying. She tells me that every time Roshni has been provided with or purchased medication she takes about 2 pills and proceeds to throw the rest away. I am literally horror-struck. Roshni insists that the pills don’t work. She takes one and nothing happens. She doesn’t like pills anyway, so if they aren’t working she’s not going to keep taking them.

She’s suffered for 15 years with this burden of pain and neglect hiding under her sari. I ask her what she will do now and she replies, “I want to feel better, I want relief, but what can I do?”
...

I leave Meora exhausted, but thinking a million things. During the interviews I had been concentrating on my questions, understanding responses, and taking notes. I began to really process everything as we walked.

What had I been expecting? For these women to tell me, “I know I don’t take proper care of myself, but I really want to, it’s just so difficult.” I don’t have the money, my husband doesn’t let me, there are no female doctors, the resources aren’t available… These excuses would seem so much easier for me to understand, for me to think of solutions to. But these women are not giving me any of these excuses. Instead, I’m hearing that the reason they are suffering daily pain and ill health is due to fear, ignorance, isolation, and family values. Issues I can’t begin to approach, issues that are intangible and ingrained in society, issues I was hoping would have begun to be broken down in this area with the help of the SHGs and CHIRAG.

I feel defenseless to the waves of emotions passing through my mind and heart: anger, sadness, confusion, love. I was hoping for an intense cultural experience while conducting my project, one of the reasons I chose this topic. But this is more personal then I was expecting, and these were only the first 2 interviews of my planned 17 women.

My final realization as I’m in the jeep heading back to Sonopani with my peers, sharing our day’s experiences… Contrary to my initial thoughts, I now understand,

These women are not empowered, they are alone.